Posted on 2017.02.26 at 18:47
Why am I the way I am? So consumed by love and wanting love. It takes over my every day life and becomes the only goal I want so badly. When will it be my turn ............
Posted on 2017.02.20 at 18:04
I hungout with C, ended up having a really great time. The whole night was filled with fun, flirty vibes. Hugs, kisses on the cheek, and laughs. There's something quite special about getting to know someone at the very beginning.
Posted on 2017.01.30 at 20:24
Craving adventure. One day at a time.. I have found myself enamoured with the thought of travelling in a van. I am going to continue reading into this.
Posted on 2017.01.29 at 14:23
I have been craving adventure for some time now. Katt and I have decided to plan a camping trip, just the two of us. I feel like this would be so much fun! We will probably do that in the summer time. So in the mean time, I need to come up with some ideas as to what I can do! Possible options, snow shoeing, ice fishing, visit the museum of nature, visit a waterfall, etc. Hmmm
Posted on 2017.01.22 at 15:03
I had an amazing time on my date. We started off at the Manx, really great food and conversation. We then went on a little adventure and walked around the parliament in the snow and had a blast. Since then, we hungout on Friday and last night. On Friday I had began questioning if we were just friends hanging out or if he had the same attraction that I did. We built a fire at his house and he went for it and kissed me. Greatest moment! We ended up having sex , twice, and it was awesome. Then last night I was having a girls night and afterwards took an Uber and went to his house. Pretty much instantly started kissing. He's great.
He has this positivity about him, and is such a genuine person. He makes me feel awesome and makes me want to be a better person. I feel like this is the start of something great. I don't want to rush into anything. But so far things have been really nice.
Posted on 2017.01.17 at 23:09
I need to keep focused on my art. I need to put my whole heart and soul into it. While the band is producing some new songs, all I can do is wait before I can add lyrics to them. But what I should be working on in the mean time is buying more canvases and working on my paintings.
I was also approached from a guy I went to high school with, and in turn, we are going on a proper date tomorrow night. I can't wait. He seems extremely interesting and knows the true value of life. I'm excited to see what happens with this :)
It's absolutely amazing what life has thrown at me growing up until this point in my life. I thought I had it all figured out, and as I grew older, realised just how little I do know, and how there is SO much more room to grow and better myself and my situations. It really is a trial and error effort, but I feel that it makes me that much more knowledgeable and confident in taking the next steps. I find in the winter months, I tend to stay indoors. Being outdoors and taking in the beauty around me is what keeps me grounded and re-aligns my focus and priorities. It makes things so much clearer and really shows me what is important. I need to go out more and do this. More adventures, even by my lonesome. Take a minute to breathe in that fresh cool air and appreciate what I have.
Posted on 2016.12.23 at 20:08
I had a really interesting encounter.. I had to do my CPR course, and ended up being paired with a man that I was automatically attracted to. I was nervous all day. Turns out he works at the same place I do so we have been chatting. Nothing serious. I gave him my number and he hasn't texted me. So idk.
I'm trying to avoid this feeling but I find myself feeling rather lonely this time around. It's Christmas in a few days, and I do not have a significant other that I can spend time with. Yes my family is around, but it's not the same. I crave someone that cares about me, and just wants to be with me. Dating has been extremely hard, and it seems that every single person I meet, they are not ready for commitment. It's frustrating seeing someone and feel like it isn't going anywhere. I'm just losing all hope in finding the 'one'.
I thought by this age I would have my life together. Steady job, married, even maybe with children. I'm having a hard time...
Posted on 2016.09.28 at 22:55
It's amazing what life can throw at you randomly. My life went completely upside down and here I am. K and I are not moving forward. He has actually been pushing me far away as he has been emotionally abusive ( I feel it is out of pain & anger because of what I did ) towards me . I am staying in Ottawa. And the interesting thing about all of this, is that in this mess, I seem to have found myself attracted to someone and am interested in seeing what the future holds for that.
I am trying to work on myself, but it is nice to talk to someone that is positive and incredibly driven. This positive outlook is contagious.
I hope K gets better. I feel that he needs to distance himself from me. I deleted him off fb. I will not be adding him to my new ottawa number once I have changed it. I am doing this out of love, and hope he gets better..
Posted on 2016.09.10 at 21:24
Lots going on in my head. It really is too much. At this point I have to force myself to distance myself from K. Doing this is just resulting in me not wanting to be in this anymore. The stress, the pain I feel, the vulnerability, it's too much to bare. And the confusion has got me really in a bind. I need to stay focused. And that is to get back to work, and move to Sudbury. I think once I am there things will be better. Ughh I hope.
Posted on 2016.08.25 at 17:42
Once you cheat on someone, you begin to feel as if everyone knows, and that everyone hates you. You feel judged, that people are out to get you, the list goes on. This is the price I pay for doing what I did.
Things have been the greatest struggle I've ever endured. I lost my man. I am homeless. My job position has been taken away. Mentality is questionable. I am lost........
My plan is to move back to Sudbury and couch surf until I have enough money for my own place. My clothes will have to be kept in my car, and I must get back to work and pretend like none of this is happening right now. I'm hoping to only need to do this for a month. But you never know. I need to come up with $1900 in the next month. Not happening, especially because I am on long term disability and don't make nearly that amount in a month or two.
I will figure this out.... I have to.